An irresponsible act model composition primary school
Liao Jun Yu, P4, Chongfu Primary school (improved version)
Pictures - Dog, A person looking at his wrist watch, Baseball bat
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Below is a picture of DRAFT 2 of the student's composition. Our students go through multiple rewrites to improve their composition writing skills. We have presented the improved version of this draft in this blog. We have highlighted good phrases that were used in this composition.
Model composition - Primary 4 - An irresponsible act
It was a sunny day, and the clouds were marshmallows. Today, I made a very irresponsible decision. Just three hours ago, my father and mother were going to the supermarket. “Do not touch my precious vase!” my mother barked. But her warning fell on deaf ears. When she exited the house, I immediately had the idea of playing baseball in the house. I took the baseball bat and started playing baseball in the house. Little did I know something bad was going to happen.
At first, everything was going smoothly. I had gotten my fifth home run and was going to have a sixth when, smash! I looked around only to find my mother’s vase smashed into smithereens.
To make matters worse, I heard my mother’s keys jingling. “Oh no!” I screamed, “I had landed myself in hot soup. My face turned as pale as a sheet. My mother entered and gave me a tongue-lashing.
I had learned a very important lesson, which is to never be irresponsible. I apologised to my mother and turned over a new leaf.
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