Model Composition: Determination (Primary 3)

Here is a model composition suitable for Primary 5 - "Determination." Below you will find an essay (DRAFT 2) written by one of our students. Our students go through multiple drafts. What you will find in this blogpost is the improved final draft of the composition. Determination

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Model composition: Determination (Primary 3)

Student: Chin Pin Yuan, P3 (Improved version)

Pictures given: Race track

Model composition: Determination (Primary 3)

Chin Pin Yuan, Chongfu Primary

Student: Chin Pin Yuan

Picture used: Race track

I was participating in a running race. I was nervous as it was my first time participating in a race. I reached the venue 15 minutes before the race started. I was determined to win as I practised day and night for it. The stadium was packed like sardines in a mini-sized can. Banners covered the walls. I excitedly went to the starting line as the race was about to start. “Bang!” The starting pistol fired to start the race. I was expecting nothing to go wrong but little did I know something bad was going to happen.

          Halfway through the race, I was doing well. Suddenly, my shoelace came loose and I tripped over it. I fell to the ground with a very loud “thud.” My legs were bleeding and I sprained my ankle. Blood were oozing out. I groomed in pain. The crowd was shocked as blood filled the ground.

          I watched helplessly as other competitors started overtaking me. Without hesitation, I picked up and continued to run towards the finish line despite my bleeding legs. I ran as fast as my legs could take me to the finish line as I was determined to win the race. Determination was etched in my face and it pumped my veins as I ran at the speed of light.

          To my surprise, I was the first to reach the finish line and won the gold medal. I was as proud as a peacock. I was glad that I was determined and never give up. This lesson to never give up will forever be etched in the deep recesses of my mind.