Here is a model composition suitable for Primary 5 & 6 - "Friendship." Below you will find an essay (DRAFT 2) written by one of our students. Our students go through multiple drafts. What you will find in this blogpost is the improved final draft of the composition. Model composition: Friendship.
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Model composition for primary 5: Friendship
Student: Zoanne Leung, P6 (Improved version)
Pictures given: Two friends holding hands
Is Taylor okay? I thought to myself, staring at Taylor, who was sitting alone at the recess table in the corner of the canteen, looking despondent and lost in her own thoughts. Taylor, who is my best friend, is usually cheery and fun-loving. However, for the past few days, I could not help but notice she had been very quiet, and looked melancholic most of the time. As we are neighbours, we would usually walk home together. However, for the past few days after school, she had been walking home alone more than once. I noticed her red nose and puffy eyes as she walked with her head down, not making eye contact with anyone. When I tried to contact her on the phone, she would not pick up my call or respond to my text messages. I really wondered what was wrong with Taylor and why she had been acting so weird.
Finally, I decided to pluck up my courage to ask Taylor what was going on. When I saw her during recess, I gave her a wave and walked over. To my relief, she responded and muttered,
“Oh. Hi Olivia,”
After a long and awkward pause, I sat up and asked Taylor, "Taylor, why have you been looking so depressed lately? What is bothering you?"
Taylor looked away as her lips started to quiver. "You can tell me gently. Maybe I can help you. That's what friends are for, right?”
As Taylor heard that, she hesitated for a moment before pouring out the woes that plagued her.
"Okay, you know Scott, my dog? Umm... he... he passed away last Saturday.”
Taylor choked back the tears as she revealed her loss. I could not believe that Scott was gone. Scott was the friendliest dog I had ever met. He would not bite people, and he was always a cheerful, loyal dog. Once, he even chased a robber, which saved Taylor and her family. Scott would also greet Taylor with a bark before nuzzling up on him for a warm hug. I understood how much Scott meant to Taylor.
Silence descended upon us. as we pondered over the loss of Scott. Brushing away my fears,I assured Taylor, "Don't think so much. Scott would want you to be brave and move on." Stifling a sniffle, Taylor nodded. Just as I looked at my watch, I realised that Taylor's birthday was in a week's time. I shared Taylor's loss with my parents, and we reached out to Taylor’s parents to get their blessings before heading to the dog adoption centre.
When I reached the dog adoption centre, I scanned each chihuahua closely to see which one resembled Scott the most. Finally, I found a perfect dog that looked exactly like Scott when he was a puppy. I could imagine how Taylor's face would light up when she received my birthday present! I was sure Taylor would be overjoyed!
Indeed, on Taylor's birthday, when she received the chihuahua, her
eyes were filled with tears of gratitude. The new dog's resemblance to Scott seemed to have erased her sorrows. Although Scort would forever hold a special place in her heart, the new dog would keep her occupied and allow her to move on. From that day on, our friendship blossomed, and we knew we could always count on each other to share our sorrows and joy.
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