Model composition secondary school - Personal Recount essay - "Write about an occasion when you overcame a fear and how it positively changed you," Below you will find an essay (DRAFT 2) written by one of our students. Our students go through multiple drafts. What you will find in this blogpost is the improved final draft of the composition. Model composition: Personal Recount Essay O'level.
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Personal Recount Essay O'level.
"Write about an occasion when you overcame a fear and how it positively changed you,
Student: Hadriel Koh
Most people develop a fear of making mistakes because failures sometimes stymie our progression and make us look incompetent. Yet, as fallible humans, it is inevitable that we make mistakes. Some people respond to mistakes with embarrassment or frustration, while some struggle to accept them and let go. If we keep dwelling in such fear, this would inadvertently develop an adverse effect on our mentality, hindering us more from our success. However, others learn from them and move on, and I believe our courage to face and respond to making mistakes is an essential part of becoming successful.
During my secondary school years, I was given the role of a leader of my Extra-curriculum Activity (CCA) and I thought highly of myself. I was the leader of our school's debating team. I had the mindset that becoming a leader, means that one act as a good exemplar. I believed that by showing others I have no flaws, they would be inspired to achieve better. This mindset carved the behaviour that I have shown towards my peers, affecting the way I act and respond. For instance, when presenting, I was very careful with the way I spoke and presented. However, being so afraid of making mistakes made me fear that if I ever made a mistake, my reputation as a perfect leader would be mocked. This devastating misconception hindered my self-expression and confidence.
I was given the task to make a speech on the benefits of of our (CCA). I remembered getting on stage and feeling so paralysed with fear, that I stood there stupefied. When I tried opening my mouth, I stuttered terribly. Feeling extremely ashamed of myself, I almost fainted in front of the sea of faces. My teacher, Mr. Wong, a wiry thin man with a perpetual stoic expression on his face, came forward and asked me to take a breather. As I climbed down the stage, I was expecting my juniors to mock me. Instead, I was met with understanding. They handed me a glass of water. At that moment, I felt my fear of making mistakes dissolving like sugar in hot coffee. I realised by making mistakes, I appeared human. My juniors felt a connection with me. Feeling better, I stood up and headed back to stage. I managed to complete my speech without an ounce of fear. Everyone gave me a standing ovation. As I witnessed the thundering applause, I learnt making mistakes is part of the human experience. By showing my vulnerability, my juniors could finally relate to me. Most importantly, by overcoming my fear, I had positively changed as a person.
An indefatigable athlete who accepts the mistakes he makes and finds ways to improve and avoid the same mistakes would likely succeed. A doughty singer who forgets her line and makes an extra effort to remember her lyrics the next time would also be more likely to succeed. By being vulnerable, I have taught a lesson to not only myself but my juniors that failures are not stop signs but guidelines to success. It has been clear that no one is perfect and the mistakes we make can often be our best teachers when we learn to reflect, draw lessons from them and move on.
All in all, I realised that making mistakes is part of growing up and learning to accept them will help us develop a positive outlook on life’s challenges. This helped me to become freer instead of being timid towards making any mistakes. Seeing the benefits that mistakes can offer has encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone, which has helped me overcome my fear of making mistakes.
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