Model composition secondary school - Personal Recount essay - "Write about an occasion when you overcame a fear and how it positively changed you," Below you will find an essay (DRAFT 2) written by one of our students. Our students go through multiple drafts. What you will find in this blogpost is the improved final draft of the composition. Model composition: Personal Recount Essay O'level.
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Personal Recount Essay O'level.
"Write about an occasion when you overcame a fear and how it positively changed you,
Student: Gabriel Koh
Fear is something we all experience everyday. It is not something new and we all have been through it before, no matter whether it’s exam grades or standing on a cliff, everyone has experienced fear at least once in their lifetime. It may seem to be a big drawback in our life but this time, for me, it positively changed my life instead. This is how that incident happened…
It was on that one day when my class was brought on a field trip that we were all anticipating, except me. As soon as we got onto that rusty yellow bus, I knew that my fate was sealed. It was the day we were all going to try mountain climbing, and although the teachers ensured maximum safety for the students, I still doubted that fact with every cell of my body. Not only that, but even if I survived a fall, I would be cursed with a year-long role as the laughing stock of the class. Having a severe case of acrophobia, I went to big and extreme measures in order to skip this trip. But in the end, my efforts were futile. All I could do then was hope that I would not be selected for climbing the mountain.
Out of the blue, the bus came to a stop and my heart skipped a beat. “There’s no going back now!” My face cringed at that thought. Students were marching out of the bus one after another and although reluctant, I followed anyway. After a few minutes of walking, we were met with a huge rock wall going up to 3 levels high! My jaw dropped to the ground and I let out a small whimper; there was no way I would survive the fall! My eyes darted around for an escape, but once again, my efforts were futile and I was forced to put on the safety harness.
Like a breeze, the safety briefing was over and we were taken to the great rock wall again. A queue formed and I managed to get to the last place of it, buying as much time as I possibly could before my end would come. As I looked up, I saw brave and determined students scrambling up the wall, and before I knew it, it reached my ears that one of them had already completed the course. “Oh no…” I whimpered with a slight tremble in my voice as the queue got even shorter. Within a matter of minutes, it was soon my turn. With my heart pacing like a race car, my clammy palms gripped the nearest rock I could reach. A chill went down my spine as I felt a thousand eyes staring at my every action. This was undoubtedly fear. Great fear, in fact, of the harness breaking and me landing with a loud thud manifested as images in my mind as my life flashed past my eyes. I was paralyzed with fear.
I tried moving my limbs but they were not responding, fear had taken over me! “Climb up! Climb up! Climb up!” students were shouting behind my back. At that moment, instead of anxiousness, I was met with determination. I must climb this mountain! If they could do it, so could I! I screamed in my mind as I began climbing with all the strength I could muster. Before I knew it, I was gracefully climbing the mountain with great speed. As the cheers got louder, I knew that I was nearing the top, and out of a sudden, I felt the cold hard ceiling on the tip of my nails. I reached the top! My heart was bursting with excitement as I slowly lowered down. As I got back into the bus, I heard students talking about how I was the fastest among them. This only made me more confident and boosted my self-esteem.
If it was not for that one incident, I would not have been the best mountain climber in my school and have trophies hung against my bedroom wall. And, without my classmates’ cheering, I wouldn’t have realized how far you can go with a little push of determination to overcome your fear.
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